Saga Requiem
by Luna Silvereyes
Summary: All of the floodgates so carefully constructed, all of the years spent meticulously burying the pain, were now wasted. The fear was returning to join the knowledge that he had nowhere and no one to turn to. With one letter bearing unexpected tragic news, Orochimaru finds himself treading familiar ground once again, seeking some form of solace where he least expects it to exist.


Saga Requiem

The letter came via messenger hawk.

The silver-haired man that tried to read the message received instead a quick, savage flurry of slashing beak, flailing wings, and screeching shrieks in turn. A half a minute or so of this treatment convinced Kabuto to take the message unopened straight to his master. With the disgruntled hawk in tow, the young man steadily made his way to the entrance of the hideout. Since the main base had met its final destruction at the hands of the Fuma clan survivors, defection to the southern hideout had been in order. The door was located at the base of a cliff, but to Kabuto's surprise, he saw his master wandering around outside for once, as if awaiting his arrival.

Orochimaru was leaning up against the cliff wall, watching a small stack of herbs burning away on a tiny fire several feet from him. There was a large piece of cloth tied around his nose and mouth, so Kabuto assumed the fumes were probably noxious. He kept his distance as he approached, "Lord Orochimaru," he said, "I have a message for you,"

"_What does it say_?" the Sannin asked, his voice muffled slightly from the cloth. He approached the fire and knelt down, reaching to adjust the sticks providing it fuel. He jerked back suddenly, having burned himself and then stood up, pulling the cloth down as he approached. He took a much-needed breath of fresh air, rubbing his irritated eyes as he eyed his right hand man curiously. Kabuto handed him the scroll, "I couldn't read it. The messenger sort of forbade me," he said with a wry glance at the hawk. It sat innocently grooming its wings on a rock a few meters away. Orochimaru chuckled mirthfully, "How amusing. To think the great Kabuto Yakushi is outdone by a mere messenger hawk," he said bemusedly. He held his arm up slightly, beckoning the hawk closer. It alighted easily to the offered perch and pecked at his hair. The snake-Sannin smirked and tossed the bird up lightly, making it take off for the trees.

Kabuto sighed and then glanced at the fire, wrinkling his nose at the smell, "Ugh, that smells like sulfur. May I ask what you're doing?"

"No, you may not. You may, however, keep an eye on it and see that the plants don't fully incinerate. Let me know when the flame reaches its hottest point,"

Kabuto adjusted his glasses in annoyance, knowing better than to argue. Talking back to his orders had gotten him thrown into the ocean on multiple occasions. He'd since learned to just put up with it if he wished to continue following Orochimaru.

The dark-haired Sannin picked his way along the rocks surrounding the hideout. Ordinarily, he'd have gone inside to read, but after inhaling those overwhelming fumes for the past half-hour, his lungs were admonishing him to go and get some fresh air. That, and there were times when even he tired of staying indoors working. He smirked when he thought of how his abnormal behavior had been confusing the hell out of Kabuto recently. The younger man probably believed that his master was finally succumbing to madness after all this time. It was only to be expected; after all, just a few months prior, Orochimaru had come face to face with his old teammates again without an enormous battle breaking out. Jiraiya, having tricked both him and Tsunade into meeting up again, managed to convince the two of them to form a temporary truce just for the afternoon. Admittedly, whenever the memory of this day crossed his mind, it caused the normally stoic Sannin to pause in deep thought. This usually resulted in him effectively tuning Kabuto out, only to ask him to repeat what he'd just said minutes or even moments before. Of course, Kabuto had no idea of Orochimaru's whereabouts that day, as the Sannin had given him strict orders not to follow him. Knowing that he would anyway, he'd taken special measures to make sure he wasn't tailed. While Kabuto was...well, _hung up_ for a bit, Orochimaru had been able to lose him and proceed to the meeting place without hindrance. As far as the older man knew, Kabuto was still a bit peeved about it.

Why had he gone along with it? Well, being trapped in Jiraiya's pesky _Jutsu_ certainly stood out as a major reason. But for the life of him, he couldn't grasp what had come over him that day. It was very much similar to the old days when he was still loyal to the Leaf village. In fact, too similar, he believed. It wasn't that so much that disturbed him as the fact that he would never admit aloud to anyone but himself;

"To think...," he mumbled as he took a seat on a rock lying adjacent to the cliff face, "...I would have actually enjoyed that day...,"

These thoughts and suppositions bothered him. In defecting from the Leaf village, Orochimaru had officially severed all ties, both good and bad. In leaving behind his enemies and dislikes, he was also leaving behind everything that he had once held dear, both possessions and people. After all, with the sudden and tragic deaths of his parents, he'd had nothing else to hold onto at that particular point in his life. Being only a child, he'd needed stability and a semblance of normalcy if he wished to survive. Little did he realize at the time what an enormous price would come with these basic necessities. Payment was always required with anything in life. That included those around you, whether they were kind or not. Those first early days were a sharp blur in his memory, a hazy fog covering grainy images of a place he dimly recalled as his home. The people surrounding him had no faces. The shapeless objects lying around him held no distinctive features. Even colors were toned down, the vivid life erased by his only recollection; broken glass, shattered wood, and four bloodied kunai lying on the floor amidst a slowly spreading puddle of blood. Somewhere, he could hear the frantic breathing of someone on the verge of shock. Whenever these images reappeared to him, voices accompanied them, long-distant, hopefully long dead voices;

_ "Ugh, we're too late. Both dead. Doesn't seem to have been a quick death, either," _

_ "They died honorably," _

_ "That's hardly a comfort. Are there any survivors?" _

_ "No, none...all dead, sir...," _

Orochimaru hadn't noticed how tightly he was gripping the rock until he felt the blood ooze out of the shallow slit in the palm of his hand. He blinked and snapped out of his reverie, glancing down at his hand. His frightfully pale skin was now streaked with bright red blood.

He sighed heavily, licked the blood off and then wrapped his hand in his sleeve to slow the bleeding, holding it slightly aloft and upstream of his heartbeat. His eyes fell on the scroll beside him as he gazed out over the water lapping at the rocks below him. Perhaps it was his affinity with ground-based serpents, but he wasn't too fond of the sea. It smelled too salty, the wind was sharper than he preferred and he felt ensnared while in its grasp ashore of an island.

He sighed and unwrapped his hand after a few minutes. The bleeding had slowed down enough that he could leave it; no sense wasting Chakra on such a petty scrape. He turned, reaching for the scroll and looking at it speculatively. He unrolled it slowly, scanning its contents.

His eyes widened in amazement.

"...Tsunade," he whispered in disbelief at the telltale signature of the fifth Hokage on the first line. He couldn't believe it; this was a message from Tsunade herself. A cloud of foreboding descended on him then. It could only be bad if Tsunade had deigned to send him a personal letter through a messenger hawk. It was the closest thing to delivering it in person. On top of that, she was taking an enormous risk in sending this to him. If the hawk had been intercepted, it wouldn't take long for the Leaf village council to discover their Hokage had been in correspondence with public enemy number 1 and one of the highest ranking targets in the Bingo Book. On top of that, Tsunade's usual greeting toward him these days was immediate attempt at dissection, so whatever this was must have been pretty important for her to shatter her pride so thoroughly.

He unrolled it further, reading on;

_**Forward, Fifth Hokage Tsunade. **_

_** To the leader of the Village Hidden in The Sound, Orochimaru**_

_** To keep this letter as secret as possible, I request that you destroy it upon conclusion. The last thing I need is for the council to know I was corresponding with you, even if only once. As our former teammate, I felt you had the right to know of the situation at present. **_

_** At the risk of leaking confidential information, I can only provide you with the basic details. Please be discreet in your course of action regarding the following. (Disregard this and I'll break your neck) **_

Orochimaru chuckled at the brief exclamation of Tsunade's temper flaring up in the parenthesis. He unrolled the scroll a little further and paused, eyes narrowing curiously. The paper was stained in places, like water had been spilled on it. He frowned, humming in consternation as he continued;

_**I have to be brief. The three from the Rain village have resurfaced yet again. I'm not sure what's happened, but something has gone very wrong. I doubt you'll get involved and for both our sakes, I request that you keep it that way. In any event, I regret to inform you that our former teammate Jiraiya has passed on from this world. I've yet to receive specific details, and I don't believe that I will be able to inform you if and when I acquire them. Though we were unable to recover his remains, a small memorial has been erected for him. Enclosed are coordinates to the site should you choose to visit for whatever reason. **_

_** If I might be honest for just one moment, Orochimaru, and hope and pray that this letter is found by none other than you, I will say that for the first time in my life, I wish that I hadn't laid a bet down. I always counted on my horrible fortune to predict a fair future for myself. In the prospect of never mentioning this day, or this letter, again, I wish I'd done things differently. **_

_** Both with Jiraiya, and with you.**_

_** Burn this letter, and then burn the ashes, you old weirdo. **_

_** Fifth Hokage**_

_** Tsunade**_

Orochimaru was very still for a long while, his eyes frozen on the scroll in his hands. It had been over two years since he, Jiraiya and Tsunade had met up again for the very first time in decades. Now, a little over four months had passed since that afternoon in the Fire country where four hours had passed between them with nary an argument.

Now, as he reread the letter, Orochimaru recalled what Jiraiya had said at the end of the four hours; _"I have to say, this was actually quite enjoyable. What do you say to doing this again next year?"_

Orochimaru slowly rolled the scroll up, fully aware of the coordinates he'd seen. Glancing around him to make absolutely certain he hadn't been followed, he stretched his arm out, his eyes narrowing "_Striking Shadow Snake_," he muttered, performing one of the few techniques his still-damaged arms could handle on the good days like today. A large, forest green constrictor emerged from his sleeve, coiling about his arm and eying him blankly. He held the scroll up to it and, contrary to what Tsunade had asked regarding it, slid the scroll deep into the throat of the snake, concealing it from any who might recall its existence. The snake retreated back into his sleeve and he slowly began to make his way back to the base. He wiped all expression from his face as he neared the spot outside the hideout. Kabuto was showing his true colors as less of a researcher and more of a medic nin as he fanned his Chakra out to try to control the blazing inferno that the little fire had evolved into. He jumped out of his skin when Orochimaru crept up behind him, watching him blankly. Kabuto cleared his throat nervously, "Lord Orochimaru, forgive me. I lost control of it. I'm afraid that everything burned quite quickly," he said far more quickly than the flame had burned it seemed.

"Hmm," the snake-Sannin muttered, turning, "I'm going to rest a while,"

He opened up the rusty metal door with a resounding squeal of hinges. Kabuto stared after him in bewilderment, "Uh...yes, I see," he said.

Orochimaru walked quietly, his eyes narrowed in thought.

Jiraiya was...dead?

How had this happened? Why? And why couldn't he sort out how he felt about this?

The network of cavernous tunnels running through the cliff of the southern hideout served only to frustrate Orochimaru. He clenched his fists in and out, a ragged sigh escaping his throat. As he pulled open the door leading to one of his laboratories underground, stepping inside quietly, he felt that familiar gnawing at the back of his mind. Making his way over to the steel table, he ground his teeth when he felt his hands begin to shake. This wasn't something he'd felt in many, many years. He'd lost count how many. He was sure he'd gotten over this by now. He folded his arms on the table, glancing at the jars around him, each one filled with some new specimen intended for his research. Some of them were human remains, others animal. A good deal of his research also extended past physical biology of living creatures and expanded into flora. A few jars contained various species of plants and flowers discovered in the immediate region, a well as mineral samples. He reached to grasp a smaller jar filled with grass samples.

"Uh," he exclaimed in shock when it slipped from his hand and crashed to the floor. Minute fragments of glass scattered in all directions. The contents of the jar lay wilted and pathetic on the cold floor. Orochimaru stared at the remains of the jar, his hand still raised above the table as if still holding it. He lowered his arm and stepped back, still gazing down at the broken glass.

Why? Why now? Why were they coming back now? They'd been gone for years! He'd banished them by burying himself in his work and studies. He'd made sure his mind was filled with as much knowledge as he could scrounge up, so there would always be something new to think about. If ever he ran out of new ideas, he'd read for hours and hours on end until his body would finally shut down from sheer exhaustion. There was many a night that Sarutobi had found him like that, slumped over at a desk in the academy at the oddest of hours with stacks of scrolls all over the place. He forced himself through that so that all of the old knowledge was well supplemented with new knowledge, so there would be no room for anything else to surface.

So there would never be any idleness in his mind. Idleness drew out the memories.

_ "Report back to Lord Mizukage; no survivors," _

_ "Right. Lets' move out and—wait, wait a second," _

_ "What?" _

_ "Sir, I saw something moving in that back room. It disappeared into the shadows when I turned, but it's there," _

_ "Go check it out," _

_ The sound of feet moving toward the door. The sound of a kunai being flipped into place. The sound of the door creaking. _

_ Breathing ragged, body shaking uncontrollably, blood that belonged to another staining scarlet, disturbingly warm and dripping down...sliding back against the wall, melding with the shadows. _

_ Golden eyes watched in terror. _

Orochimaru grimaced, lashed his arm around and sent five more specimen jars crashing to the floor with a sound like thunder. The glass clattered and settled, the chloroform sustaining them filling the air. He began to feel dizzy from the smell of it. By sheer force of will, he remained standing against the overwhelming scent. He barely heard the rushing footsteps hurrying toward the room, nor did he really notice the door flying open. Kabuto stood there, panting heavily as he surveyed the situation around him. His eyes flickered to the broken glass on the floor to the scattered and damaged samples and finally, to his disgruntled and distracted master. Gathering his composure, Kabuto approached warily, "L-Lord Orochimaru," he said shakily, heavily disturbed by his master's increasingly odd behavior, "I heard the commotion. Is everything all right? Are your arms bothering you?"

In the span of two months' experimentation, Orochimaru had solved the problems concerning the pain killer Tsunade had surrendered to him. The formula had been incomplete. After testing it thoroughly and putting it through several variations and trial runs, he'd taken it himself as a final experiment.

It had worked. He could take one dose of this new medicine and go for eighteen hours with very little pain. His arms, while still numb for the most part, had even begun to regain their normal skin tone that slowly spread to his shoulders where the damage had ended. He made it no secret to Kabuto whose medicine was stronger. This served to put the younger man in an increasingly foul mood as he struggled to one up the new formula.

Kabuto shivered slightly; rarely had he witnessed such a look of raw rage in Orochimaru's eyes as he did then. Something had clearly upset him, but he knew he stood a better chance of sprouting wings than he did of prying it from him, whatever it was.

"Perhaps you should take a rest after all," Kabuto suggested, switching to the mindset of a medic nin. All too often, this controlled and collected mindset saved his neck against his master's wrath during a darkening mood. He took a few cautious steps forward before hesitating. Orochimaru was so livid that he was actually trembling. This wasn't good. Kabuto cleared his throat, "Lord Orochimaru, did you—?"

"I heard you!" the snake-Sannin spat, whirling, "Leave me,"

"But my Lord, I—"

However, he didn't get the chance to finish. In the blink of an eye, Orochimaru lunged forward and lashed out violently, striking Kabuto dead on the back of the neck with precision force. Kabuto's quick reflexes allowed him to avoid devastating injury to his spinal column, but his last conscious thought was that he was going to spend the rest of the day out cold as a result. He fell to the floor with a sickening thud, watched by the infuriated Sannin.

Orochimaru closed his eyes and sighed. Maybe that had been a bit much. He certainly hadn't intended to hurt the idiotic kid, but Kabuto would have to realize at some point that there were times when it was better to keep a safe distance. Sometimes, he'd have to put his own neck in priority and cut his losses. He knelt to check the younger ninja's neck, moving his ponytail aside. There was a dark bruise rapidly forming where he'd struck him. Kabuto was going to be out for at least eight hours. It was just as well, Orochimaru thought vaguely. The kid probably needed the rest anyway. It might turn out that he'd done him a favor. Still, as Orochimaru lingered near the fallen Shinobi, an unsettling thought crossed his mind. Kabuto was one of the few people besides Kimimaro whom he'd ever entrusted with even a scant amount of confidence. If he had just attacked one of those rare people in his life, then he truly was disturbed.

He strode out of the lab, leaving Kabuto in there. For some reason, he couldn't seem to stop shaking. His eyes narrowed dangerously. He paused in the stairwell, gazing off into space with a stiff expression. He closed his eyes shut tightly and clenched his fist.

_"Sir! Sir! We got a survivor here!" _

_ "What? Someone's actually alive?" _

_ "Yes sir! Ah...poor thing...he's just a kid...," _

_ Reaching...calm voices...instant petrification. Golden eyes squeezed shut, shaking won't stop. Curled against the wall, facing away. _

_ Screams. _

Orochimaru shook his head furiously and hurried up the stairs toward the outside. All the while, those screams, whoever they belonged to, continued to ring in his ears. He reached the rocky pathway outside the entrance to the southern hideout. He was just in time to see a squall of dark clouds beginning to roll in.

He stood motionless halfway down the craggy path, even as the clouds finally burst above his head. Within minutes, he was soaked through, his hair clinging to his head like a thick blanket. He walked slowly,eyes unfocused as he struggled to process his thoughts. He wasn't used to this...this...whatever this was that was threatening to consume him. He knew he'd felt it before, sometime long ago in his past. That's not to say he didn't know what it was. He knew all too well. It was a type of fear, the kind where everything and anything could possibly kill you, and all you wanted was for some semblance of safety.

Orochimaru glanced back the way he'd come. He was already a fair distance from the southern hideout. Oddly enough, he noticed he was headed north, toward the Fire Nation. He frowned, humming slightly. Looking up, he saw that the trees were sheltering him slightly from the rain. He blinked in surprise when a drop fell into his eye, his hand instinctively going up. He sighed, continuing on. It was a bit late to go back, now.

Could it really be true, he wondered? Could the news of Jiraiya's death actually be causing him to feel fear once again? The same sort of fear that nearly devoured him the day his parents had died? The day he'd _watched_ them die? Deep down, he knew the truth. Those screams that haunted his early memories were more than likely his own. As he walked slowly through the expanse of trees, he could feel the blackness of terror beginning to settle into a tolerable shade of gray. Acceptance was coming. But he knew that there was still something wrong. He sighed heavily, "You've truly gone then, have you?" he whispered, "After all this time, you were the first. All these years, I naturally assumed...,"

He trailed off, shaking his head slowly. Now was not the time to dwell on such things.

The storm continued to roll overhead. Orochimaru was only vaguely aware that he now resembled a drowned cat and the discomfort of his hair and clothing sticking to him like a fog. A small voice in his mind reminded him of his medical knowledge; if he didn't warm up soon, he'd risk hypothermia. He tried to pay it little mind as he continued on, not entirely sure of where he was going. Something in him told him to just keep on the move, not to stop, not to think. Just keep moving. That same voice repeated this over and over in his head. It carried a hidden message; to stop was to succumb. But to what exactly, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Thunder shook the ground beneath him. He glanced up and instinctively sought out covered shelter. He ducked beneath an overhang of rocks jutting out from the mountainside, kneeling down and watching the rain drip down through the treetops. However, the moment he relaxed, he regretted it;

_"What? Are you serious?" _

_ "Yes, Lord Mizukage. I'm afraid that he was...the only survivor," _

_ "How? That man was the strongest in my service, his family in equal regard! How could they be taken down like this?" _

_ "I...I don't know, my Lord. This child...well, he was found in a hidden space within the home," _

_ "I'm fully aware of who this child is, you imbecile. Has he spoken to you about it at all?" _

_ Pushed forward. Stumbling unsteadily. Eyes raising...blurry. Numb._

_ "No, Lord Mizukage. He's not said a word since then. With the location of the hidden compartment in conjunction with the position of the bodies...it's all too likely he witnessed the entire thing...," _

_ Dimly aware...hand resting on head...ragged sigh. _

_ "Nothing to be done for it, I'm afraid. A good man's great service shall be mourned. Send a message to the Leaf, at once!" _

Orochimaru shot up, returning to the path and resuming his trek across the jagged mountainside, heading north. He had to keep moving. He had to stay moving. If he stopped, all of the floodgates he'd spent years meticulously constructing would crumble and a torrent of misery and unwanted memories would come pouring forth. He shook his head, clenching his eyes shut as he struggled to hold back what he knew would not be restrained for long.

_"What shall we do, my Lord?" _

_ "He cannot remain here. They targeted the others; they will undoubtedly come for him, as well. We've lost his father; we will not lose him, too," _

_ "The message is on its way, Lord Mizukage. It's been encrypted for the eyes of the Hokage, alone," _

_ "Good. Prepare for transport and be ready to depart by sunrise. That's an order," _

Orochimaru halted, eyes steely with rage as he let out a scream of frustration, He slashed to the left, striking a large fir tree across the trunk. With a crackling, splintering sound, the trunk swayed, groaned, and then tilted downward toward the base of the mountain, plummeting ominously toward the craggy rocks below. With a thundering roar, it struck, scattering boulders and rocks and shooting a cloud of dust up in its wake. He watched it, breathing heavily as he fought to regain his composure. He decided then, as he took off into the trees; he couldn't stay on the ground any longer. He focused as much Chakra into his bounds as he could, working to keep his mind blank of all but the task at hand. The feeling was disconcerting; the sensation of being followed. The sensation of being hunted. It was a feeling he endured every waking moment, knowing that he was constantly being tracked, wanted dead or alive by three of the five great Shinobi nations. In the time since his defection, that number may have expanded.

Probably the aspect that scared him the most though, was knowing that in the end, he had nowhere he could turn to for solace.

/ooo/

It had been almost two days. Now, closer to the Leaf village than he'd dared to go in years, Orochimaru leaned against a tree, more dead than alive. Eyes glassy, body shaking with extreme fatigue, he knew he wouldn't hold out much longer. He'd pushed himself far harder than he usually would have in the past forty-eight hours. He didn't even know where he was going. He was starting to lose focus of his reason for departing to begin with.

He slid down to the ground, breathing hard as he finally deigned to rest a bit. He cast a weary, apprehensive glance around him. It was faint, but he could feel the Chakra signals around him. He hadn't been noticed yet, but it was only a matter of time. He sighed, masked his Chakra and closed his eyes. He hadn't felt this poorly since his trek to Tanzoku a few years before after his failed attempt at the Leaf village's destruction. He couldn't seem to stop shaking.

The Chakra signals nearby were getting stronger. He opened his eyes and struggled to his feet, moving further away from them while keeping his own signature masked as best he could. He'd known that pushing himself so hard was a bad idea. He'd known it before he set out. He should never have left like he had. Hell, he didn't even know what had come over him. Pathetic as it was, he'd allowed the panic to get the better of him.

The Chakra signatures were getting weaker again. He dimly recognized the area where he was. He was deep in Leaf territory. This was bad; his logical mind was returning in full vigor. Now, he could see what a stupid mistake he'd made. If he were caught now, he was dead.

"Ugh...you've really done it now, damn it," he muttered under his breath. He located a sheltered spot in a small thicket and ducked behind it, retreating deep into the shrubbery and placing all his remaining energy into masking his Chakra. Whatever he'd been thinking before, he was an idiot; he could live with that fact provided no one else ever found out. But for now, he needed to recover enough to flee while he still could.

His head drooped suddenly. He scowled, gritting his teeth as he felt his world beginning to sway. He couldn't believe it; how many mistakes was he capable of making in a single day? Was karma just catching up to him for going so long without any life threatening errors? How could he, one of the legendary Sannin, have misjudged how much Chakra he still had stored? Masking Chakra _used_ trace amounts of Chakra! It was one of those weird paradoxes associated with the art! When the world tilted sideways all of a sudden, around the same time he became aware of a spine-jolting collision with the ground, he realized that maybe, just maybe, he should re-hone his Chakra controlling skills once he made it back home. Maybe he was getting a bit nonchalant after all these years.

And with that final, somewhat ironic thought, his world went black.

/ooo/

.

.

.

"_Why don't I ever get to ask for help?_"

Dark. Cold. There was no ground and no sky. No horizon. There was nothing to pinpoint location, or give one the sense of self awareness. Just a voice. A small, quiet, embittered voice in the gloom; "_I never get to speak. Why don't I ever get to ask for help? Why don't I ever get to say anything?_"

What did that mean? Was that true? Who was speaking anyway? It sounded familiar.

"_I wanted to speak. I wanted to ask for help. You never let me. You never let me say anything,_"

Never let...? What? Wait a minute!

"_In the end, no one came. No one heard me, so no one came,_"

"You know, you're lucky no one came around here, otherwise you'd have been in some pretty serious trouble, you old weirdo,"

Orochimaru's eyes snapped open and he bolted up, bounding back several feet and crouching defensively. He couldn't believe it! _He'd blacked out in enemy territory!_ How in the _world_ had his guard dropped that low!?

He jolted slightly when he saw who was sitting a few meters away from him at a safe enough distance to avoid getting struck on reflex. Blinking in surprise and slight amazement that he was still in one piece, he relaxed very slightly, "Tsunade?"

Sure enough, his former teammate was sitting up against the trunk of a large tree on the other side of the clearing with some kind of book in her hand and a small stack of papers on the ground next to her. She snapped the book shut when she saw he was fully awake, "It's about time you came around. Did you know you talk in your sleep?" she asked as she folded the papers and stuck them in her pocket.

"What?"

"You've been mumbling to yourself for about a half an hour now. I couldn't pick anything out, but it was a bit eerie,"

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed skeptically as he tried to stand up. A nauseating wave of dizziness crashed over him, causing him to nearly fall back down. He returned to a kneeling position, one hand over his eyes to quell the swaying.

"Careful," Tsunade warned somewhat dryly, "You're still in pretty bad shape. I'm surprised at you, Orochimaru; just what in the hell were you doing way out here in your condition?" she snapped.

"Condition?" he repeated incredulously. Tsunade made a sound of disgust, "Are you kidding me? You _know_ almost as much as I do regarding the medical field. Besides, this is _you_ we're talking about. For me to find _you_ passed out from fever and exhaustion this deep into enemy territory by yourself is quite a feat, Orochimaru. Anyone else and you'd be dead right now or worse, under custody of Ibiki and the ANBU black ops,"

His eyes narrowed, "So why aren't I?"

Tsunade grimaced and looked away, "Like I'm going to pull an underhanded trick like that, turning someone in who can't even fight back. That's _your _job if I recall," she snapped, "Oh, and you're welcome, by the way," she added snidely, "It's thanks to my healing Chakra you're even able to move. Do you even know how badly you'd injured yourself? You were just a quarter mile's worth of exertion away from _Rhabdomyolysis. _You've actually got internal burns now from your own Chakra due to overexertion. Add on a body temperature of 95.4 degrees and I'd say you didn't even stop to take shelter from that huge storm rolling up the coastline! What the hell were you thinking?"

His expressionless face must have angered her somewhat as she hissed through her teeth suddenly and shot to her feet, "The _least_ you could do is answer me," she snapped.

Orochimaru straightened up shakily, still feeling the lingering effects from his grueling trek out this far. He braced his hand against a tree to steady himself and looked up at her questioningly, "So then," he said, "I'm standing on my own and am now able to fight back. So what are you going to do, then?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. Tsunade eyed him and scoffed;

"I'd hardly call that 'standing', Orochimaru. You're just lucky I'm a medic through and through. Once you're fully recovered, I'll take you back to the Leaf myself. If my guess is correct, then you spent the last two or three days traveling here, even through that massive typhoon that just swept across the western coastline,"

Orochimaru glanced down in thought, "I may have passed through the tail end of it," he admitted, "So it was a real storm, then. How did you find me?" he asked suspiciously.

"Do you really think I don't remember your Chakra signature after all this time?" Tsunade asked incredulously, "Being Hokage is tiring so I ditched the ANBU for a while and came out here for some rest and wind up ruining my whole day by stumbling across you,"

He smirked dryly, "Well, my apologies then," he said bemusedly.

Tsunade glowered at him a moment. As he watched, her expression softened to weariness and she sighed heavily, "Off the record Orochimaru," she said, meaning what she was about to say was for her own benefit rather than the village's, "Why _are_ you here alone? For you to push yourself so hard that you pass out is highly out of character to say the least. And then not to notice me for well over four hours?"

He jerked back slightly in amazement; _he'd been out for four hours!_? Yeah, further training in Chakra control was definitely in order when he returned. _If _he returned, he corrected himself.

He jumped slightly when Tsunade approached, peering up at him curiously, "Well? Are you going to answer me or not? I'm out a lot of Chakra thanks to you, so it's the least you can do,"

He didn't reply. She watched him patiently for several moments, noting from how glassy his eyes were that he was still exhausted. She could sense his heartbeat, previously racing to accommodate his ailing body, beginning to slow to a more normal rate. Ordinarily, Tsunade knew that she should have been on the defensive being so close to him, but she knew he wasn't a threat to her right then. She hadn't seen him like this in years. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen him this...disturbed since the first few days she'd known him. In her honest opinion, judging from the way he seemed to be shaking ever-so-slightly, he seemed almost...scared.

Her eyes widened as it suddenly clicked. Everything fit together now! The current date and time, the similarities, the out of character behavior, the familiar silence, the way he refused to look directly at her... It all made sense!

"It's the letter I sent you, isn't it?" she mumbled quietly.

Orochimaru knew better than to deny it; she'd see through his bluff in an instant. She'd always been good at that sort of thing. He met her gaze dead on, refusing to look away. If she wanted the satisfaction of knowing she'd guessed correctly, she'd have to work for it.

"I take it you know then," she said, looking away, "Believe me, it was a shock to find out. I had to jump through a few hoops to get that message out to you,"

"Why?" he asked in bewilderment. Her eyes flamed in sudden fury, "Because you deserved to know! That's why!" she exclaimed angrily, "Are you or are you not our former teammate, as well as Jiraiya's best friend!? Of course you needed to know you idiot!"

He took a step back away from her in apprehension. He'd forgotten exactly _how_ frightening Tsunade's temper could be at point blank. He looked away, eyes narrowed, "You needn't have gone through so much trouble; it doesn't concern me,"

Tsunade huffed in anger and lashed out, grabbing his arm, "That's it, you're coming with me," she snarled, dragging him out of the clearing into the trees. He would have put up a fight but for two reasons; one, they were headed _away_ from the village, not toward it, and two, he wasn't sure he had the strength to fight right then. His only chance of escape would be to wait and bide his time. Even so, something felt different, here.

He kept silent as he was forced along with her, watching her curiously once she finally released his arm, convinced he'd stay with her.

"There's no one around," she said, "So we won't get caught,"

"Where are we going?" he asked, brushing aside a branch in his path.

"Just be quiet,"

He fell silent, not really up for arguing at present. The situation was weird enough as it was; no sense in complicating it.

Finally, Tsunade paused in a tiny grove in between a huge crowd of old fur trees. Orochimaru glanced around him skeptically, his gaze falling on what appeared to be a small shrine set up against a boulder beneath one of the trees. Surrounding it were two smaller rocks, each one stabbed with a kunai connecting a delicate line to a kunai embedded in the main boulder, creating a small barrier. As they drew nearer, his eyes widened slightly at the word carved into the boulder.

" 'Teacher'?" he muttered. Sitting before the rock was one of Jiraiya's infamous books; he recognized the orange cover. There was also a bouquet of what appeared to be paper flowers resting beside it. He watched as Tsunade approached and knelt down before the items, settling into a comfortable position. She turned, beckoning him over, "Just come over here; there's no one else around but us," she said.

He approached slowly, eyes never leaving the intricate setup. He paused beside Tsunade, also sitting down a few feet away as she watched him blankly. He crossed his legs, settling on the ground as he turned to face the stone, "What is this?" he asked.

"As I mentioned in the letter, we were unable to recover Jiraiya's remains. We discovered that the Akatsuki were responsible for his death, although we don't know who just yet. Since his body was never found, Naruto erected this memorial for him. We're a few miles outside of the Leaf village, but with the threat of the storm moving inland, most of the remaining shinobi are staying within the boundaries of the village,"

Seeing this memorial had finally cemented it. Orochimaru knew it then; Jiraiya really was gone for good. He stared at it, his expression blank. He was trying to place this weird..._emptiness_ he now felt. It was like a hole had been ripped open. He wasn't sure why, but he found himself now trying to close it.

Tsunade glanced at him, slight concern festering in her stomach, much to her chagrin. She closed her eyes, " It's true, unfortunately. And how ironic; those three that you advocated to kill wound up bringing about the end of the one who desired to save them..."

Orochimaru recalled that event too well. When they'd stumbled across the three Rain orphans, he'd seen flashes of his own life in those few minutes upon meeting them. There was no reason for anyone to share the same misery he'd endured. He'd wanted to spare them that agony. Jiraiya had been adamantly against it and chose to train them instead.

Tsunade cleared her throat and forced a small smile,"You know, Jiraiya couldn't stop talking about how you actually showed up for that impromptu get together four months ago. He kept calling it his 'crowning achievement'," she said, changing the subject.

"Hm?"

Tsunade chuckled, "Yeah. Turns out he had a bunch of those where you were concerned, such as when he apparently talked you into modeling for a side character in one of his books or even the day we all met for the first time,"

He grimaced, grumbling under his breath. Tsunade sighed, "It wasn't that bad, Orochimaru. When he first saw you, you were facing away from him. Anyone would make that mistake," she said, smirking.

"He wasn't 'anyone' Tsunade,"

"Well, yes, but he's not the only one,"

He threw her an irritated glare, "He thought I was a girl,"

Tsunade snickered madly and then cleared her throat, "Yes, well, he wasn't the brightest student ever," she admitted, "But he meant well,"

Orochimaru hummed pensively. Then, he sighed, "He was the first one to inquire on my welfare when I arrived in the village," he muttered quietly. Tsunade whirled to face him, eyes wide, "What? What's that mean?" Tsunade asked him. But he didn't answer her. She sighed and let the subject drop. She'd known for a long time that Orochimaru hadn't actually been born in the village, that he'd lived outside of it until he was about four years old. That was when he'd appeared in the academy one day, introduced by Sarutobi. She recalled that day too well. She'd found herself curious about the new student who only stared at the floor, eyes glassy and dead, refusing to utter a word to any question spoken to him. Sarutobi had explained that he was in shock and allowed him to answer given questions by coming to the front of the class and either writing them on the blackboard or giving him slips of paper with the writing on them. Tsunade had naturally assumed he was a mute. Sarutobi had placed him at the desk beside hers since she held the highest marks and therefore the best chances of explaining to him whatever he didn't understand. However, he'd never seemed to need any help, in fact often finishing his assignments long before anyone else and then sitting and gazing quietly out the window. He never once looked at Tsunade and for a while, she didn't allow herself to care all that much.

That is, until Jiraiya was moved from one of the other classes into theirs. Then, all hell broke loose. The Village Madness, as he was called, had taken an instant interest in the new student. In fact, Tsunade had inadvertently been the one to introduce them. She sighed, her eyes closing slightly;

_"Tsuna-a-ade! He-e-e-ey!" _

_ "Go away Jiraiya," she growled, "I'm trying to work," _

_ "I don't got any work! Besides, class is over! C'mon, lets' go!" _

_ He stopped, blinked and peered around her to where the newest student was busily fishing something out of the bag on the floor, long black hair falling across the face and obscuring it from view. Jiraiya grinned, "So, who's your cute friend, Tsunade?" _

_ The new student jolted and froze with a slight sound of shock. Tsunade glanced to her left and then glowered at Jiraiya, eyes wide in disbelief and fury, "He's a boy, stupid!" _

_ The new student, Orochimaru, turned slightly, staring up at Jiraiya with an expression of deep-set confusion and consternation on his face. Tsunade was a bit surprised; that was the first emotion of any kind he'd shown since he arrived. Jiraiya stared right back at him, face frozen in shock. He sighed heavily, "Jeez, I never saw a guy with hair as long as yours," he muttered, scratching his head. Tsunade's jaw dropped in amazement at such a brazen remark and she glanced at Orochimaru who actually shrunk a bit and sank a little deeper in his chair. _

_ Tsunade scowled, "You're a creep, Jiraiya," she snapped. _

_ "What? What'd I say? I just never saw a boy with long hair like that! He looks like a girl!" _

_ Tsunade was about to snap back a retort, but she was cut short by Orochimaru suddenly standing up behind her. She turned, looking up at him curiously as he stared at Jiraiya blankly. Both kids were silent a moment. Orochimaru eyed Jiraiya and then tilted his head slightly, face blank, "You look like an old man," _

_ With that statement, he gathered his bag, slipped past Tsunade and headed out of the classroom, leaving them to stare after him in bewilderment. _

Tsunade snickered suddenly, glancing over at Orochimaru who stared at her curiously, "What?" he grumbled.

She shook her head, waving the statement off, "The first thing you ever said to Jiraiya," she chuckled, "That even as a kid he looked unusually old for his age," she said, still laughing.

Orochimaru blinked in surprise, "I said that?"

"Something along those lines," she said, sighing, "I remember it because it was the first thing you'd said since you came to the Leaf village. It was always funny because Jiraiya was the only one who could really get you to talk for a while. Even if you were only trading insults, the important thing was that you would speak even a little when he was around. Tell me, why were you so quiet then? I dare even call you shy back then," she said, looking over at him for confirmation. To her surprise, his expression was calm, as if he were revisiting those memories himself.

Finally, he sighed, glancing up into the canopy of the trees high above them, "I suppose there's no harm in telling you, provided you don't already know,"

Tsunade looked away, "I know a little. Master Sarutobi told me a little once we'd gotten a little older. The fact that you were so antisocial for those first couple of years had me worried, Orochimaru," she admitted quietly, causing him to stare at her in amazement. She ignored it, "I asked him one day why you were like that. He finally told me what he knew. This was how I figured out you weren't from the Leaf village," she said, shifting her position slightly, "He told me that you'd been born a citizen of the Mist village, and that your family had been killed as a result of the war. He said a few other things too, but that was the gist of it,"

Stunned that she knew so much about his true origins, Orochimaru was silent for a few minutes. He stared at the ground, watching a small beetle scale a blade of grass close to the memorial stones. He clenched his fist slightly before relaxing his hand completely.

"What he said is mostly true," he admitted, "...my father was the assistant of the first Mizukage. From the few records I've found over the years, he was one of the strongest Jounin the Mizukage had to offer. His ties to the head of the Mist village created strong connections in my family,"

Tsunade's head shot up, her eyes wide. She stared at him, comprehending the information he'd just revealed. She processed the accepting glaze over his eyes as he gazed blindly ahead of him, she realized the weight of what he'd just told her. She lowered her head, her bangs falling over her eyes, "It makes sense, then," she whispered, "Why they were killed and why you came to the Leaf,"

He nodded, "I remember very little of it," he said, slightly surprised at himself for revealing so much, "I was sent to the Leaf following their deaths in order to preserve my life. To this day, I still maintain familial connections to the Mist Village, though I don't acknowledge them,"

They both fell silent. Far above them, the dark clouds rolled through the skies, blanketing the land in darkness and enshrouding the forest in a veil of shadows. The woods were silent, all traces of animal life disappeared. The bouquet and pages of the book fluttered in the gentle breeze that swept through. The temperature was dropping.

Tsunade brushed her hair from her eyes futilely. She shook her head, "I'm sorry, Orochimaru," she muttered.

His head snapped to the left, astounded at what he thought he'd just heard from her. An apology!? From Tsunade of all people? He vaguely wondered who this really was disguised as Tsunade before admonishing that idea. He'd admitted before that no one knew her better than he did; he knew that this was really her. So then why would she do something so out of character as apologize, and to _him_ no less? Why?

"What for?" he mumbled, forcing his voice to remain low. She didn't need to know how perplexed he was. He doubted that her pride was left undamaged by this point. He found himself not wanting to make it any worse for her.

She sighed heavily, "For all the years we all claimed to be good friends, I never really did anything to prove that statement," she said softly, shaking her head, "I never took the time to understand you at all. I...I knew you were always hiding your pain from all of us, but I never bothered to ask you about it. I never did anything to figure out what was really bothering you all those years. I always figured that you'd just gotten over it. I see now how wrong I was,"

Orochimaru couldn't believe it; for years during his youth spent in the Leaf, he'd secretly hoped that someone would eventually see through the facade he'd constructed, see the agony he always hid. All the painful memories, the jagged pieces of himself he couldn't seem to heal on his own, he buried it deep within himself, but he always made sure that little bits of it could still be seen in the hope that someone would notice. He spent countless days and nights wishing for someone to notice, his hope fading more and more each day. He would never ask for help. The stress and gnawing ache felt like a band coiling tighter and tighter each day. Finally, with his failed candidacy for Hokage, it snapped and his last shreds of hope were finally snuffed out completely and he departed from the Leaf village without looking back.

However, two things have since happened to briefly rekindle it. The first was Jiraiya chasing after him the night he left, begging him to return, that it wasn't too late to turn around. No one knew the mental division he'd suffered that night. A small part of him acknowledged that for the first time, someone had actually noticed that something was wrong and had actually sought him out. He'd dared to briefly entertain the notion that maybe he could finally admit to his friend what was truly wrong after all this time, that he'd understand how much it hurt to go on living in such solitude. But in that same instant, all of the painful memories and resentment toward them for never paying closer attention swamped that small bit of hope. He continued his defection, leaving one of his few real friends behind to call after him in vain. To this day, Jiraiya's voice shouting for him to come back hadn't quite left him.

The second thing was Tsunade's apology just now. Even when they were kids, Tsunade's will had been strong and slightly terrifying. She rarely admitted her mistakes out loud, though she would correct them through her actions without verbally acknowledging them. For a long time after his arrival in the Leaf, he recalled he'd been closer to her than any of the others because...well, she was just there. She didn't pry anything from him and while he was still adjusting to his new life, he'd welcomed that. The extended period of shock he'd spent so much time in had made him weak and she'd often stood up for him. She'd inquire on his welfare, accompany him around the Leaf and hold one-sided conversations that he'd listen to quietly. Through all of this, he came to understand everything about her personality, including that for the longest time, she refused to apologize for anything.

"It's taken a long time," he heard her say quietly, "Jiraiya would tell me about it sometimes; his theory that you went down this road because you wanted to forget your painful memories. I never believed it. I always thought you'd just gone insane and there was no saving you. I gave up on you completely. I only saw my own pain caused by your betrayal of all of us. I never once considered the true motivations,"

Orochimaru sighed, "In reality, I never really gave you reason to believe otherwise, much less a chance to understand," he said.

"Oh, shut up. I saw firsthand how good you were at one point," she snapped, "Do you remember that old place you lived in for a while? We were all mid teens about then,"

He stared at her quietly and she could see he was actually trying to remember. She sighed, "That old apartment you had had a front window that faced the training grounds. Because of this, you were at the glazier's about three times a month buying new glass for it because it was always getting broken by misfired shuriken," she said with a smirk, "You were on a first name basis with the shop owner, Orochimaru," she said mirthfully. Orochimaru chuckled slightly as the memory returned and he recalled exactly how much time and money went into repairing that stupid window.

"One day," Tsunade continued, "Nawaki was messing around, throwing rocks at tin cans on the fence. One of them was thrown a little too hard and went straight through the window you had just replaced the day before. Naturally, he freaked out when you came to the window to see what happened. However, seeing how he really seemed to look up to you for whatever reason, he fessed up to me about it later that day and told you he'd pay for the new window. I tried to talk him out of it, but you both agreed. When you came back from the glazier's later on, I could see him shaking when he asked the price,"

She paused, looking over at him expectantly. Orochimaru remained quiet, watching her quietly as he expected her to continue. She smiled slightly, "You looked him dead in the eye and told him that the shop was having a sale; the new window cost only twenty ryo," she said, smirking, "Nawaki beamed and said he'd bring you his allowance for two weeks to cover it before dashing off. Even though I pressed, you insisted it was twenty ryo. So finally, I went to the shop and asked how much the window had _really _cost. Turns out all of the constant breaking had damaged the framework. You had to pay to fix that as well, so the grand total for all of the work came up to around three-hundred ryo," she said wryly. She laughed softly and sighed, "You knew a boy barely eight years of age wouldn't be able to scrape together that kind of money, so you lied about the price to ease the trouble for him,"

Now that she brought it up, Orochimaru did remember that incident. He'd admired the kid's determination to fix the mistake he'd made, but he knew that if he found out the real price, he'd be horrified. He hummed quietly. Tsunade continued; "I never forgot that and I was always grateful for that whole incident," she told him, "Nawaki always thought you were interesting. The fact that you too wished to become Hokage spurred him on even more. If he'd lived, perhaps he'd be there instead of me,"

Orochimaru didn't know what to say to this. Tsunade rarely spoke of her brother as far as he knew. She'd stopped mentioning him not long after his death. He and Jiraiya had both known better than to bring him up after that. They knew it was better for her to acknowledge him herself.

They both fell silent. Orochimaru wasn't sure how he should feel about this whole thing. After so many years, someone had finally recognized all the pain he'd endured, just as he'd hoped they would. But for one thing, he'd never actually expected it to happen and for another, he certainly hadn't expected it to come from Tsunade.

The breeze wafting through the forest floor picked up again slightly, ruffling the bouquet of flowers on the ground and causing the book resting against the rock to flip open. The pages ruffled for a few moments before slowing to a stop, the book sitting open. Orochimaru glanced at it briefly, chuckling at the familiar sight of Jiraiya's handiwork. How many times had that oddball come to him asking for a critique? He'd lost count. Sometimes he'd bring one page, sometimes he'd bring a whole stack. Every single page, he expected read through and analyzed for errors or plot holes, of which Orochimaru discovered a surplus.

One character in particular caught his attention and he smirked dryly, "I see where the inspiration for the main character came from," he remarked.

_Whack!_

Orochimaru doubled over slightly, clutching his shoulder with a grimace, "Perhaps I deserved that, but try to restrain yourself next time," he grumbled.

"Shut up," Tsunade snapped, "Be thankful that's all I did. I kept telling Jiraiya to stop putting me in his books,"

Orochimaru sighed, still rubbing his shoulder and expecting a nasty bruise to form, "He put me in there as well," he pointed out, shooting a mild glare at her.

"You aren't the main damn character!" she yelled, "You're a pointless shopkeeper that I go to asking directions! I hardly call that 'placement',"

She stared at the book in irritation, recalling all the instances where she'd chased Jiraiya all over the Leaf because he'd drawn her yet again in one of his lewd plot lines. Every time Jiraiya had begun to feel creative when they were younger, Orochimaru had strangely made himself scarce. This often left Tsunade to bicker with him about it by herself. Only once had Jiraiya ever succeeded in convincing Orochimaru to model for a character placement and only under threat of suffocating death by constrictors did he agree to keep him as a background element. Tsunade wasn't always so lucky.

Now, as she glared at the book, she frowned curiously, "Orochimaru, please hand me that, will you?" she asked.

He glanced briefly at her and then reached forward to take the book, holding it out to her. She took it, leafing through the pages studiously. She settled on a page and her eyes widened slightly, inhaling a tiny bit, "I thought I noticed something. Take a look at this," she said, turning the book. She moved a little closer so the book was situated on the ground in front of them.

"What am I looking for?" he asked.

"There, see? In the back. This crowd scene,"

It was a full page shot of the main character actually talking with the one design Orochimaru had allowed of himself into the book, a simple shopkeeper as Tsunade had said. However, he noticed something funny about the background images.

"There," Tsunade said, pointing, "Those three, in the back. Do you see them?"

Orochimaru picked the book up, studying the background of the crowd scene. At first, there wasn't anything particularly special about it, but the more he looked, the more distinctive it became. In the middle of the crowd scene, there were three kids kneeling on the ground, facing away from the reader. One of them, a kid with spiky hair, was doodling with a stick on the ground while the other two, a girl with short light hair in a ponytail and a boy with long black hair, looked on.

"It...it's us," he muttered, slightly surprised. He and Tsunade exchanged confused glances as he flipped through the book, searching for another crowd scene. Sure enough, a few pages later, they found one. This time, the kids were in the foreground, shadowed beneath the awning of a tea shop while the main characters served as the speaking background. The spiky haired boy was drawn shaking furiously as he choked on something or other while the girl was reaching to help him and the boy looked on blankly. None of their faces could be seen.

He flipped through the book again. In still another crowd scene, the three were again a part of the back images, this time as shadowed figures running past, chasing after what looked to be a dog. In still another, they were a short ways down on a crowded street and the girl was breaking up a heated argument between the two boys.

"This is his first book," Tsunade said, "It was published not too long after you left. I remember it got pushed back a lot before it was released,"

As they both stared at themselves, immortalized in print, they both realized what Jiraiya had done.

"He wanted to capture what it was like before," she said quietly, "When...when the three of us were still good friends...,"

Orochimaru gently closed the book and placed it back against its place beside the stone. He sat back, head bowed slightly as his hair covered his eyes.

Tsunade hummed, "I wonder if he knew this would happen," she whispered, "Out of the rest of us, Sarutobi and myself, he was the only one who ever held any hope that you would return one day. He seemed fully prepared to welcome you back when you finally came home, even though we knew you'd have to answer for what you did. But you never came back in the end. We spent several months trying to find you initially,"

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed as he looked across at her. She shook her head, "It's almost uncanny how similar the situation is now with Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura,"

Orochimaru hummed, "They haven't given up, I take it?"

"Not even close," Tsunade admitted, smiling wryly, "Naruto checks with me every week, hoping that he's been seen. You're going to have one hell of a fight on your hands when he finally catches up to you three," she said, grinning fiendishly at him.

Orochimaru was silent, though. His gaze was trained on the stone before them, his expression distant and thoughtful. Tsunade frowned, curious as to his lack of response to such a verbal jab, "You all right?" she asked, surprising herself.

"It's quite interesting," he remarked quietly, "Naruto and Sakura are certainly dedicated to their friend, aren't they?"

Whether it was the words themselves or the unintended lash of memories involving their own team's disintegration, Tsunade detected a hidden meaning behind what he said. She looked at the ground, ignoring the festering ball of repressed guilt in her gut, "I've considered everything too many times to count over the years," she said, "And maybe...maybe we didn't try hard enough, Orochimaru. Maybe we gave up on you too quickly. We stopped searching after only a few months, after all. Maybe we should've kept at it. Maybe we would have gotten to you at some point. The fact of the matter is that we gave up, you were registered as a rogue ninja and that was that. Naruto and Sakura are quite literally repeating history with one difference; they're willing to do anything to bring Sasuke home. And yet you still insist on keeping him?" she asked, eying him blankly. He smirked, chuckling softly, "He wouldn't leave, even if I ordered him to," he said with a mild shrug, "That boy is even more difficult than I am. I must say, the turn his ambition seems to be taking is catching my interest. I may hold off a while longer before switching again, see what comes of it, perhaps," he said ponderously.

Tsunade smiled slightly and shook her head, "You and your crazy ideas," she muttered, standing up and stretching, "You were weird when you were a kid and you're weird now,"

He stood up as well, noticeably less unsteady than before. He jumped when Tsunade suddenly peered at him up close, frowning and looking him over. She placed a hand to his forehead, humming slightly, "Well, your temperature's close to normal again," she said, "And you're drastically steadier now. Your pulse rate is normal, and your Chakra signature is normal again, as well. I'd say you'll be fine,"

She stepped back and folded her arms, eying him irritably, "Still, I hate to ruin this otherwise interesting afternoon with a fight," she grumbled, "Just when my mood was almost back to par again,"

"You're still on your self-imposed day off," he said with a smirk, "Why ruin it?"

"Don't think you can sweet talk me you old weirdo!" she snapped.

"I wasn't trying," he replied, shrugging. She huffed and placed her hands on her hips, eyes shut as she grumbled to herself, "Damn it, now what am I supposed to do?"

She gazed over at the memorial, eyes clouded. He followed her gaze, his own landing on the stone. For the past two days, panic at the reemerging fear had overwhelmed him. Whether they knew it or not, Tsunade and Jiraiya had been his motivation for life as he grew older; always trying to keep a step ahead of Jiraiya, always secretly looking out for Tsunade. Never once did he mention how much their companionship meant to him over the years. And in a way, perhaps it still did mean quite a bit. Orochimaru wasn't blind; the only reason Jiraiya's death would evoke such a reaction from him was if the old nutcase had still meant something to him. The same went for Tsunade. Not since that little meeting four months ago had he felt this at ease around his old comrade, at least in the time since his defection.

"The council wouldn't like this," Tsunade said grimly, catching his attention again, "They didn't find out about the letter I sent you. It's tricky, but I know you'll want to stay informed about the Akatsuki just as we are,"

"If they found out, you'd risk exile or worse," he said.

"Really now, who do you take me for?" she said, grinning. She turned toward the memorial, "You know that he'd be all for it," she said, "It'd be a little bit difficult, but for the time being, I'd like to stay in contact with you," she said, glancing back at him.

"I'd like that," he said, nodding once, "This'll be an intriguing challenge, though,"

"Eh, nothing we can't handle. What they don't know won't hurt them. Besides, I think maybe Jiraiya had the right idea," she said softly, "Maybe it's time to look ahead for once. I'm sure he'd have liked to see you once more time before he died,"

He was about to reply, but they both froze up at the sudden sensation of approaching Chakra signatures. Tsunade ground her teeth and swore under her breath, "Damn it, I guess they found me," she mumbled. She looked toward Orochimaru, busily scanning the trees for the source. She smirked at him and tapped him on the shoulder, "If I turn around, you had better stay put," she said warningly.

"My, aren't you the trusting soul?" he taunted, smiling.

"Maybe I'm too naïve for my own good sometimes," Tsunade said, turning away from the memorial to face the approaching Shinobi, "You'd better stay right there. I mean it, Orochimaru,"

As she expected though, the second she turned her back on him, she felt the rush of air as he took off into the trees, heading opposite the nearing threat. She glanced back just in time to see him vanish into the darkness of the canopy and smiled lightly to herself as she faced forward again in time to meet two ANBU black ops agents as they landed in the clearing before her.

"Lady Hokage," the frog-faced shinobi said, "We've been searching for you everywhere. Are you all right?"

"You're asking _me_ that?" she snapped at him, "Of course I'm all right. Can't I visit the memorial site of an old friend in peace?"

The dog-faced ANBU jolted slightly in mild guilt, "Our apologies, but please allow us to accompany you next time,"

Tsunade pushed past them, "I appreciate the concern, but I can take care of myself," she informed them sternly, "Well, we might as well return. I suppose that mountain of invoices won't file themselves, will it?"

As she strode off through the trees, she closed her eyes for a moment and then faced forward, steeling her gaze.

_I'll send you another message soon. _

/ooo/

As he expected, Kabuto wasn't too thrilled at having been abandoned for two days with no reason given. The first report he gave the Sannin upon his return was that Sasuke was seriously angry and had to be sedated. Orochimaru wasn't fond of receiving bad news immediately upon returning home, but at the moment, he didn't really care. He offered little greeting to Kabuto except for one. As he passed him on his way inside the southern hideout, he paused and glanced back at him, eyes narrowed. Kabuto visibly flinched and backed up, expression confused, "W-What is it?" he asked.

"How is your neck doing?" Orochimaru asked, causing the kid to jolt in surprise.

"Uh...f-fine," Kabuto exclaimed, amazed at his master inquiring on his welfare, "It's still pretty sore, but it's healing well,"

Orochimaru hummed, opening the metallic door and hesitating before going in. Without looking back at him, he sighed heavily, "My apologies for my actions the other day, Kabuto. Striking you down was uncalled for and unnecessary,"

Kabuto resisted the urge to shock himself with his own Chakra to make sure he wasn't having a nightmare. Did Orochimaru just apologize for attacking him the other day?! The medic shook the thought off and composed himself as best he could, "It's fine; it wasn't too much trouble," he said, amazed his voice didn't betray how honestly confused he was.

Orochimaru nodded and continued inside, disappearing into the gloom.

Kabuto stared after him, unsure of what to make of this. He'd known the man a long time, and had long since become used to his quirks and eccentricities. He knew that to rouse his anger was at best daft, and worst, deadly. But now and again, Orochimaru did things that served to throw Kabuto off guard, leaving him, like now, unable to decide how to handle the situation outside of simply letting it go.

Orochimaru headed down into his room deep in the cliff. He was still tired after his trek back and decided a bit of rest would do him no harm. However, before he could, he knew he had something to do. He moved to a small cabinet in the corner of the room and opened it, revealing several stacks of parchment he used for impromptu notes. He could never predict when a good idea would form and he kept stashes of paper and pens in all of his usual haunts in every hideout just in case. Now, however, he simply too a few of them out and set them on top of the cabinet, closing the door. He felt he should be ready. As he sat down on the edge of the bed, he stared at the paper across the room and visited the memories of the previous few days. It was strange; for the first time in a long while, he felt calmer. His normally hot-blooded spirit felt cooled for a change. He had a vague notion of the reason for this and decided to allow it to remain. He found he liked this new feeling.

Movement by his ankle drew his attention down to the large forest green constrictor that served as the basis for his many _Jutsu_. It slithered up the side of the bed and came to a rest beside him, looking up at him with cold, expressionless eyes. He smiled slightly and stroked its head softly. Then, he picked it up by the neck area and held it aloft, opening its mouth and withdrawing the scroll from the first day. He released the snake, which coiled in a shapeless lump beside him while he stared at the scroll in his hand. If one could have seen him, one would have assumed that his peaceful demeanor was brought about by fatigue or depression. But that was false. As he contemplated the events of this week, he closed his eyes, allowing his mind to idle for the first time in years.

_"So who is he anyway?" Jiraiya asked, peering down at his face shrouded beneath the long dark hair. Orochimaru mumbled something incoherent and retreated back behind Tsunade, looking off in the opposite direction. She watched him do this and sighed in exasperation, "Jiraiya, stop getting all up in his face like that. He doesn't like it," _

_ "I'm only trying to be friendly. After all, we're all on the same team now, right Chi?" he said with a grin toward his new teammate. Orochimaru's expression contorted slightly to something mixed between anger and embarrassment. He muttered another unintelligible sentence under his breath and looked away. _

_ "Why are you calling him that?" Tsunade asked. _

_ "His name's impossible! What kinda kid's got five syllables for a name?" Jiraiya exclaimed, "I mean seriously, Orichomaru is impossible!" _

_ Tsunade groaned and slapped a hand over her eyes, "His name isn't that difficult to a smart person," she remarked, "You'd know what I'm talking about if you bothered to study," _

_ "What the heck's that gotta do with Orichomaru's name?" he muttered. _

_ Jiraiya yelled as Orochimaru suddenly lunged forward, charging into him and knocking him flat. Clutching his nose where he'd face-planted, Jiraiya sat up, blinking in amazement as this normally painfully quiet and shy kid straightened up, his expression warped with irritation. Even Tsunade stood gape-jawed at this unexpected attack coming from a student who didn't seem capable of any violence whatsoever. _

_ Staring down at Jiraiya, his eyes steely all of a sudden, he sighed heavily, "My name is Orochimaru. It's a pleasure to meet you," _

A/N: This is the final installment on my Sannin trilogy. Each segment was devoted to one of the Sannin in particular, the first being Jiraiya, the second being Tsunade and the third Orochimaru. I have received some pictures from a friend of mine. These pictures are of the first Mizukage's assistant who is uncannily similar to Orochimaru. Since all points suggest to this man being his father, I decided to incorporate this with my theories as to how this factoid related to the eventual deaths of Orochimaru's parents.

Note, this isn't necessarily the end. I also have a three shot in mind to officially conclude my Sannin writing. I don't have the information I need yet to write it as accurately as possible, but it will be out within the year. I hope you all enjoyed this story in the meantime.


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